So now you’re engaged and it’s all very exciting! But now what? How do you know where to begin your planning process and what wedding decisions are right for you both?
Whilst there are lots of wedding related books and magazine articles, online and in print which tell you about all the things you’ll need to prepare for your “big day” and the associated timescales, it can be very confusing and overwhelming if you don’t know what you both actually want or need for YOUR wedding.
As a celebrant I’m not into dictating nuptial, “shoulds and musts”, but I really do advocate for couples having what’s genuinely right for them. In order for this to happen, it might seem obvious, but first you both need to have a clear sense of what’s important to you in relation to your wedding.
Before you make any firm decisions or book suppliers (unless there are some that you’ve known you’ve wanted since before you were even engaged!), sit down as a couple, and jot down your answers to some questions like the following:
-What budget are you working with?
-How many guests would you ideally like?
-Does marrying locally, further afield or even a destination wedding, appeal to you?
-Do you prefer fancy and flamboyant events, or minimal and neutral?
-As a couple are you romantic, love humour, horror or anything else?
-Are there themes which suit your personality or favourite things which you’d both like to include in some way?
-Do you want people you involved – a little, a lot or not at all?
-Have you attended weddings where you saw things you loved, or disliked? Or real wedding write ups online, can help you see what you’re drawn to – on sites such as:
Inner World Outer Life: https://www.innerworldouterlife.com/past-ceremony-categories/relationship-ceremonies/
G Wedding Directory: https://www.gweddingdirectory.com/real-life-gay-weddings
Offbeat Wed: https://offbeatwed.com/
Hitched: https://www.hitched.co.uk/real-weddings/
Rock ‘n’ Roll Bride: https://www.rocknrollbride.com/topic/wedding/
More question ideas can be found online. And answering them doesn’t have to be laborious – you can make it a fun “date night” with your favourite beverages and snacks, as you discover what’s important to you both.
So instead of focusing on lists of what you should have, your answers can inspire you to identify your own values and priorities, thus ensuring that what you decide to include in your wedding, and the suppliers you use, really are perfectly suited to you. There’s nothing worse than going along with everyone else’s ideas, only to end up having the type of wedding you both regret!
So whether newly or long term engaged, now you know what next!
If you’d like to discuss your ceremony with me, I’d love to hear from you and together let’s bring your ideas from your Inner World, into your Outer Life.